Not a Fan

I'm writing to tell you how I'm not a fan of Jesus.  Nope.  I'm a FOLLOWER of Jesus.  I recently discovered the difference as our church has been diving into this book by Kyle Idleman.  Allow me to share my testimony about this amazing journey!  (Please keep reading.  This book could change your life too.)

So, I was baptized when I was younger and I've always attended church on a pretty regular basis.  I grew up attending the exact same church that my mom attended all her life.  In fact, my AMAZING grandfather helped build this church from the ground up when it was founded.  People there know all about the great (and not so great) past of our entire family.  I always felt like Oak View Baptist Church was my home away from home.  I am still in love with the members there, and I will always be grateful for the firm foundation it provided for me and my husband (because yes, that's where we met, grew up together, and were married.)

Now, along life's journey it's pretty much inevitable that when people grow up, they move away from their home city and start a new "life" with their marriage partner.  In the past 7 years of marriage, we have moved to 2 different cities, experienced some pretty crazy roller coasters of career paths, had a baby, and found a new church home.  Along the way, I've felt like a follower of Jesus and I've done my best to carry out His commands and seek His will for me.  However, the past ONE YEAR of my life has been the craziest yet!  (And by far, the best.)  You see, when my precious son was born, everything changed.  (You can read my previous blog post for a glimmer of insight.)  No longer did my teaching career remain the focal point that I always thought it was.  As Queen states in Bohemian Rhapsody: "Nothing really matters....to me."  That's how I felt about everything OTHER THAN my family life.  (Don't judge me please....this was definitely flawed thinking!)

The one awesome thing about life turning upside down when you have kids- you see more purpose in life than you've ever seen before.  You can relate better to your middle school students, your mom, and your grandparents.  You can relate to Mary at Christmas-time.  You can relate to God's relationship with Jesus, His one and only son, at Easter.  You experience a type of LOVE that was only semi-clear before you entered parenthood.  So when a conglomeration of life-changing events come together at ONE MOMENT (the moment of truth!) - which road do you take? 

I chose the road less traveled.  I chose to surrender EVERYTHING to my Savior.  (my Lord, my all-knowing, all-powerful, loving God who knit me together in my mother's womb.)

What do I mean by everything?  I surrendered my own selfish desires, my own way of thinking, my opinions that had previously been formed about things.  Idleman says, "A fan will try and accept the invitation of Christ to follow, but they don't want to say no to themselves.....The idea here is that you do not even acknowledge or recognize your own existence." (p. 143)  You rid yourself of any controlling tendencies you have. 

After facing the moment of truth and CHOOSING to follow JESUS, my life changed.  My priorities changed, and I was able to experience a TRUE LOVE for God.  Bible verses that I had memorized and heard 1,000 times in my life suddenly became more alive within my soul.  In these few short weeks, He has shown me the true meaning of discipleship.

"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23)

My name is Katie Tuttle, and I am not a fan.

New Mom, New Perspectives

Wow, I haven’t blogged since before Robbie was born! What a crazy ride I’ve been on. I’m not here to type all about what it’s like to become a mother – some of you have been there and you know how it feels; others of you would not be able to understand or relate. I’m typing today to pour out my thoughts about the new perspectives I’ve gained recently BECAUSE of the fact that I’m a new mom. This blog is used for sharing my experiences and opinions about life on earth as a woman of God.

Right after Robbie was born, life changed. I became solely focused on providing for his needs….and this is exactly what is supposed to happen…..to a degree. I took the advice of others and tried to take some “me” time and my husband and I would go on date nights. These short-lived events would let us catch our breath and re-connect with each other, and life was good.

Little did I know that my looming state of exhaustion would have such an affect on my emotions. Clouds were darkening behind the scenes of my soul. It’s like Satan was pulling me further and further off course without me realizing it. Life was still good and I enjoyed every minute I had with Derek and Robbie after work and on weekends, but my attitude about everything else stunk! I kept holding a pity party for myself….the poor working mom who can’t seem to get it all together. Something had to give.

What kept me going? “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) I started dreaming of a better future. (Maybe one that included quitting work and staying home.) We all know the “grass is greener”….but dreams are all about a glimmer of hope that just maybe the grass truly is greener! Hence the word: DREAM.

Anyway, let’s not dwell on the past. Basically, two things happened that pulled me out of the funk. I started working out again (Yes! Endorphin Rush!) and I reduced the number of times I nursed each day. The combination of these events threw me into a state of “hyped up on Mountain Dew” energy and a “rose-colored outlook on life” over night. Seriously! I never knew that working out had that much of an impact on my emotional state! (And I didn’t know that my body was working so much overtime as it was producing food for my baby.)

After this 7-month roller coaster (because Robbie Mac turned 7 months yesterday!) I have a few new perspectives about life:

1. The mind/body connection is REAL so get those endorphins going, people!!
2. News Flash! Family and friends exist for the sole purpose of supporting one another. (That was God’s intention for creating this thing called relationships.) So if you ever find yourself in a bubble/isolated/feeling alone in the world/not wanting to get out of the house/needing an intervention – then get on Facebook and create your own intervention party event and invite everyone you know that might be the slightest bit interested in helping out a friend. Believe me, it will work.

:)

Take it Easy

As the Eagles would say, "don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy."

I'm learning to slow myself down right now! Some people tend to live in the fast lane, but others tend to be more laid back and just go with the flow. I've been stuck in the fast lane for too long now! Sometimes I blame it on life as a teacher- life in a big city- or just my personality. I have to remind myself daily to take a deep breath and move a little bit slower so I can enjoy the time I have on earth. God didn't put us here to "get in, get out, and get on with it." He put us here to build relationships, learn from each other, and LOVE.

Excerpts from Luke 10:25-37
"What must I do to inherit eternal life?"
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind. And love your neighbor as yourself."

Some of the most powerful words in the Bible!

Miracles Happen!

I'm not even sure where to begin.....
Basically- I'm pregnant! We just found out last week that I am about 5 or 6 weeks pregnant- and we've been "trying" since last Christmas. I knew it would take my body some time to get back to "normal" - whatever that means - but I never thought the road to getting pregnant could be so emotionally tolling. I've heard of stories about infertility issues, trying every treatment the doctors can think to give, and then praying it all works out. I kept hoping that wouldn't be my story.

Let me share my story. I started journaling and blogging last April- and I didn't know what had gotten into me. My husband thought I was going crazy, and I couldn't put my pen down! I started seeing the world with a new perspective (which you can probably tell from my previous posts.) Then life got busy again, and I didn't journal or blog as much. School started back up. I had a new job (still in education). My high-strung personality started creeping back in- slowly but surely. My mind would frequently daydream about starting a family. What would it be like? How would life change? I tried not to daydream- but that's inevitable for a girl like me.

Then one day, I had an epiphany as I was listening to a sermon or something (not quite sure of the time, date, or whereabouts.) I needed to "let go and let God." I'd heard this phrase before, but I had never tried to FULLY let go of the stress of a situation and say, "God, take this burden from me. I fully trust You because You are the creator of the universe. I have faith that you have a plan for me and my family. Prepare me for whatever that plan may be." I wanted so badly to ask for it to be a baby! But I reigned in my control as best I could. I'm way too controlling sometimes, and I needed God to help me give up that control.

Some time went by and I just kept praying. Then I went through a series of blood testing and consultations with my doctor. I was told that I would need to be put on a medication that would make me ovulate. I struggled with the news. I couldn't hold myself together one day so I just started praying again. That very night, we were out eating dinner with my in-laws and a baby at our neighboring table kept looking over at me and laughing. I couldn't help but laugh! I had this strange feeling that God was speaking to me through this small child. I left dinner with a renewed HOPE. I never cried about it again. It's almost like it vanished from my mind. Looking back, I think God was taking away my pain. He was calming me......for the storm.

Literally one week after this calming experience, we went to Broken Bow, Oklahoma for a nice relaxing weekend camping. (I know what you're thinking. Camping? Relaxing? Well- we stay in a cabin and the girls get massages while the guys go fishing. It's more of a "diva" camping experience for the ladies.) I was so relaxed, in fact, that I couldn't stay awake all weekend! I am a huge Rangers fan, and I couldn't stay awake to watch Game 1 of the American League Championship Series! In the back of my mind I kept thinking I should take a pregnancy test.

We drove home Sunday and sat around the house some more. Monday morning I went ahead and took a pregnancy test only to see a positive result! My mouth dropped and my heart started pounding. I slung the bathroom door open and waited for my husband to turn over and ask what I needed. When he finally responded (after coming out of his coma) I said, "Babe, the test showed two bars this time......" I tried not to get too excited because I really didn't think this could be possible.

Mind you- I never even had the chance to start that medication the doctor told us about. We had an appointment the following Thursday to meet with the doctor about test results and discuss the next steps.

Was this real? Did God provide a miracle?

After a few days of crying out of excitement, questioning God if this was real, and getting a "real" test from the doctor- I had pretty much run out of energy! I couldn't sleep because my mind would not shut down. How do I do everything in my power to keep this baby healthy while it grows? I laid in bed at night researching the healthy habits for pregnant women, calculating the due date, and searching baby names. Once again, my husband thought I was going crazy. But that's life, right?

I have so much to share in future blogs- but let me end with this for now. God provides miracles if we fully trust Him.

IN the world but not OF it

How do we enjoy the things IN this world without "conforming" to the world?

I love so many things about life on earth! Let me list a few REALLY good ones:
Sunsets, Cool Breezes on a hot day, Oceans/Rivers/Lakes, Mountains, Fall for football and the changing of the trees, Winter for Christmas and snow, Spring for new blooms and sunshine, Summer for baseball and vacation, Spending time with family and friends, Good Conversation, Laughter, Good Books, Good Music, Walking the dogs, Chocolate.

And you're not going to believe this one - History. Yes - I hated history classes all my life but I can say that it's growing on me and I'm starting to appreciate it more and more. Maybe it's because mom and dad moved to such a historic city, and learning about the history of Charleston makes me want to learn more.

Life is so good, isn't it? God has provided such beauty on this earth to enjoy and be reminded of His magnificence. Notice that my list left off things such as fashion, celebrity gossip, and television/movies. This does not mean that I don't indulge myself with these pleasures. I watch The Bachelorette. I love to shop for clothes and jewelry. I like to see what's in the headlines of People and Us Weekly. But these things are so trivial in comparison to the above list. (in my opinion, anyway) I try to keep these "guilty pleasures" to a minimum. (Just as I should probably try to keep my intake of chocolate to a minimum....lol) Why do I limit myself? Because I feel as though the command in Romans 12:2 is referring to such "worldly" matters as these.

We should not "conform to the pattern of this world." To me, this means we should not do things the way the world is telling us to. We should follow God's commands, not the world's. We should think for ourselves and use our best judgment. We should not let the pleasures this world has created to overpower the pleasures that God has created for us. If we let worldly pleasures take control over us, then we forget about the greatest pleasures of all! (And the greatest TREASURE of all.)

I'm sorry for getting on a soapbox.
I'm not a Bible scholar, and I don't have any formal training in teaching or preaching the gospel.
I'm just a follower of Christ who is trying to find my place in this world. (as Michael W. Smith would put it)

Thank you for reading. Please feel free to comment and turn this into a discussion!
:)

New Name!

I've changed the name of my blog to reflect what I truly want my thoughts to be centered around- living for Christ in a world where we are tempted daily to win others' approval by doing or saying things that go against His commands. We are all guilty of falling into this trap, and my recent reflections have helped me pinpoint the areas in which I, personally, need some improvement.

One thing I'm working on is remembering that "my way" is not the only way! All of us have unique personalities and unique gifts. When I begin to judge others, I try to remember that we are all made differently - created uniquely by God for a special purpose.

Envy vs. Gratitude

This was the title of today's sermon. Our pastor talked about how ENVY robs us of happiness, fills us with resentment, causes conflict, leads to other sins, and distracts us from God's plan for us. I believe that envy is rampant in our society, and it's made worse by all of the advertising and commercials that surround us. We desire to have all the "stuff" they are selling but we also compare ourselves to other people and desire to have their good qualities. Sometimes we lose sight of the blessings God has given us. We must learn to be content with "who we are" and "what we have."

To avoid letting envy take us over, we should be grateful for the gifts/talents/blessings God has given us. "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." (Col. 3:15)

This is just one of the 7 Deadly Sins featured in this sermon series - you can access more information at http://www.ovbc.net/
1. Pride vs. Humility
2. Anger vs. Patience
3. Gluttony vs. Self Control
4. Greed vs. Generosity
5. Sloth vs. Faithfulness
6. Envy vs. Gratitude
7. Lust vs. Purity