I'm writing to tell you how I'm not a fan of Jesus. Nope. I'm a FOLLOWER of Jesus. I recently discovered the difference as our church has been diving into this book by Kyle Idleman. Allow me to share my testimony about this amazing journey! (Please keep reading. This book could change your life too.)
So, I was baptized when I was younger and I've always attended church on a pretty regular basis. I grew up attending the exact same church that my mom attended all her life. In fact, my AMAZING grandfather helped build this church from the ground up when it was founded. People there know all about the great (and not so great) past of our entire family. I always felt like Oak View Baptist Church was my home away from home. I am still in love with the members there, and I will always be grateful for the firm foundation it provided for me and my husband (because yes, that's where we met, grew up together, and were married.)
Now, along life's journey it's pretty much inevitable that when people grow up, they move away from their home city and start a new "life" with their marriage partner. In the past 7 years of marriage, we have moved to 2 different cities, experienced some pretty crazy roller coasters of career paths, had a baby, and found a new church home. Along the way, I've felt like a follower of Jesus and I've done my best to carry out His commands and seek His will for me. However, the past ONE YEAR of my life has been the craziest yet! (And by far, the best.) You see, when my precious son was born, everything changed. (You can read my previous blog post for a glimmer of insight.) No longer did my teaching career remain the focal point that I always thought it was. As Queen states in Bohemian Rhapsody: "Nothing really matters....to me." That's how I felt about everything OTHER THAN my family life. (Don't judge me please....this was definitely flawed thinking!)
The one awesome thing about life turning upside down when you have kids- you see more purpose in life than you've ever seen before. You can relate better to your middle school students, your mom, and your grandparents. You can relate to Mary at Christmas-time. You can relate to God's relationship with Jesus, His one and only son, at Easter. You experience a type of LOVE that was only semi-clear before you entered parenthood. So when a conglomeration of life-changing events come together at ONE MOMENT (the moment of truth!) - which road do you take?
I chose the road less traveled. I chose to surrender EVERYTHING to my Savior. (my Lord, my all-knowing, all-powerful, loving God who knit me together in my mother's womb.)
What do I mean by everything? I surrendered my own selfish desires, my own way of thinking, my opinions that had previously been formed about things. Idleman says, "A fan will try and accept the invitation of Christ to follow, but they don't want to say no to themselves.....The idea here is that you do not even acknowledge or recognize your own existence." (p. 143) You rid yourself of any controlling tendencies you have.
After facing the moment of truth and CHOOSING to follow JESUS, my life changed. My priorities changed, and I was able to experience a TRUE LOVE for God. Bible verses that I had memorized and heard 1,000 times in my life suddenly became more alive within my soul. In these few short weeks, He has shown me the true meaning of discipleship.
"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23)
My name is Katie Tuttle, and I am not a fan.
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