Miracles Happen!

I'm not even sure where to begin.....
Basically- I'm pregnant! We just found out last week that I am about 5 or 6 weeks pregnant- and we've been "trying" since last Christmas. I knew it would take my body some time to get back to "normal" - whatever that means - but I never thought the road to getting pregnant could be so emotionally tolling. I've heard of stories about infertility issues, trying every treatment the doctors can think to give, and then praying it all works out. I kept hoping that wouldn't be my story.

Let me share my story. I started journaling and blogging last April- and I didn't know what had gotten into me. My husband thought I was going crazy, and I couldn't put my pen down! I started seeing the world with a new perspective (which you can probably tell from my previous posts.) Then life got busy again, and I didn't journal or blog as much. School started back up. I had a new job (still in education). My high-strung personality started creeping back in- slowly but surely. My mind would frequently daydream about starting a family. What would it be like? How would life change? I tried not to daydream- but that's inevitable for a girl like me.

Then one day, I had an epiphany as I was listening to a sermon or something (not quite sure of the time, date, or whereabouts.) I needed to "let go and let God." I'd heard this phrase before, but I had never tried to FULLY let go of the stress of a situation and say, "God, take this burden from me. I fully trust You because You are the creator of the universe. I have faith that you have a plan for me and my family. Prepare me for whatever that plan may be." I wanted so badly to ask for it to be a baby! But I reigned in my control as best I could. I'm way too controlling sometimes, and I needed God to help me give up that control.

Some time went by and I just kept praying. Then I went through a series of blood testing and consultations with my doctor. I was told that I would need to be put on a medication that would make me ovulate. I struggled with the news. I couldn't hold myself together one day so I just started praying again. That very night, we were out eating dinner with my in-laws and a baby at our neighboring table kept looking over at me and laughing. I couldn't help but laugh! I had this strange feeling that God was speaking to me through this small child. I left dinner with a renewed HOPE. I never cried about it again. It's almost like it vanished from my mind. Looking back, I think God was taking away my pain. He was calming me......for the storm.

Literally one week after this calming experience, we went to Broken Bow, Oklahoma for a nice relaxing weekend camping. (I know what you're thinking. Camping? Relaxing? Well- we stay in a cabin and the girls get massages while the guys go fishing. It's more of a "diva" camping experience for the ladies.) I was so relaxed, in fact, that I couldn't stay awake all weekend! I am a huge Rangers fan, and I couldn't stay awake to watch Game 1 of the American League Championship Series! In the back of my mind I kept thinking I should take a pregnancy test.

We drove home Sunday and sat around the house some more. Monday morning I went ahead and took a pregnancy test only to see a positive result! My mouth dropped and my heart started pounding. I slung the bathroom door open and waited for my husband to turn over and ask what I needed. When he finally responded (after coming out of his coma) I said, "Babe, the test showed two bars this time......" I tried not to get too excited because I really didn't think this could be possible.

Mind you- I never even had the chance to start that medication the doctor told us about. We had an appointment the following Thursday to meet with the doctor about test results and discuss the next steps.

Was this real? Did God provide a miracle?

After a few days of crying out of excitement, questioning God if this was real, and getting a "real" test from the doctor- I had pretty much run out of energy! I couldn't sleep because my mind would not shut down. How do I do everything in my power to keep this baby healthy while it grows? I laid in bed at night researching the healthy habits for pregnant women, calculating the due date, and searching baby names. Once again, my husband thought I was going crazy. But that's life, right?

I have so much to share in future blogs- but let me end with this for now. God provides miracles if we fully trust Him.