Wellness Advocate

 I've recently discovered how to summarize the phase of life I'm in and the calling God has for me.

WELLNESS ADVOCATE

I feel as though we get sucked in to the Newest Health Trend all too easily.  Sometimes I sit back and wonder, "What did my grandmother do?  She is older and she looks amazing and she still seems rather healthy."  When I do have the opportunity to see her and talk to her one on one, I learn so much.  She can tell me what her generation did, and I find myself learning that our generation has made things too complicated.  Or - maybe just more complicated than they have to be.

Therefore, I have decided that I am an advocate for All Things WELLNESS.

What does this mean?  I love encouraging others to be the healthiest version of themselves.  But this takes on many meanings for me.  

"Wellness" encompasses

PHYSICAL health

MENTAL health

EMOTIONAL health

 and SPIRITUAL health

If we put too much emphasis on being "healthy" in one of these areas, then the other areas might slip into the "unhealthy" range.  It's a balancing act.  

I Jazzercise for my physical health, but also because it makes me happy (mental health!) 

 I try to eat the unhealthy delicious foods in moderation and focus more on proteins, fruits, and vegetables for my physical health, but this also contributes to how my body will FEEL.  Carbs give me energy; proteins feed my muscles and brain; fruits and vegetables are the most natural form of food God provided for us. 

I make time to read my Bible, listen to worship songs, and keep in prayer and in relationship with God for my spiritual health.  And when I do a better job of THIS.....  wow.  The Holy Spirit guides me to the more healthy options when I feel myself start to slip.  He is also good about putting people in my life that encourage me to be the best version of me.

I pray that you will learn how to balance these aspects of WELLNESS in your life.  It's never easy.  It takes discipline.  But the hard work is so worth it.

Ciao for now, friends!  

United We Stand

My heart is broken.  In so many ways and for so many people.  First, my heart breaks for George Floyd's family.  Second, my heart breaks for my black brothers and sisters who feel "less than."  Third, my heart breaks as I watch the violent crimes happening in protest, as innocent lives are being beaten and even lost over this issue.  Fourth, my heart breaks for our leaders - at every level.  City, State, and National leaders.  How did we come so far after just recently "banding together" during the Coronavirus Pandemic??

We are the UNITED States of America.  Not the Divided States of America.

We need leaders bringing us together to stand up for what is right, good and noble.

I will not get political here, I will not mention names.  However, I will use the one Weapon that I know to be good and noble.  God's Word.

Matthew 22:36-39
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?
Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest command.  And the second is like it:

LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."

Friends, changing the world begins at home.  Let us teach our children to LOVE others unconditionally, despite skin color, religious affiliation, socio-economic status, or political views.

Let us band together once again in PEACE as we seek justice.  As we seek what is right, good, and noble.

Quarantine Chaos

Over the course of our Coronavirus Pandemic and Quarantine - being confined to my home, my emotions were all over the map.  Are you interested in taking a roller coaster ride with me?

Week One - I was happy to slow things down, sleep in, and have my kids home with me.  I love spending time with them, and I was excited about the challenge of homeschooling.  I'm a teacher, after all, so this was my wheelhouse.  We tried our best to adapt to a new schedule with blocks of learning followed by blocks of free time.  (By the end of the week, it was more like an extended Spring Break.  I told myself we would kick it into high gear once we received their assignments from the school.)

Week Two - We received our first set of schoolwork in nice, organized packets that our teachers so lovingly put together.  One child thrived on checking things off the list and marking everything "complete."  The other child fought against it tooth and nail.  Getting him to sit, focus, and work was like pulling teeth.  At one point, they made forts to make it more fun.  Then the forts became the subject of arguments.  We tried school outside one beautiful morning, but not much got done that day.  My frustration was rising, and I wasn't sure how I was going to survive this.

Week Three - Every day was a battle.  I lost my self control and there was yelling.  Hearts were hurting.  Every day I felt more like a failure.  Every day my joy was being stripped away.  I cried alot.  I was low on energy and low on motivation.  I hated the wedge that the required schoolwork was putting between me and my sweet child.  I spent Friday morning in tears.  Big tears - like the kind where you can't catch your breath.  I reached out to my child's teacher to let her know about my struggle.  She was simply amazing.  She gave me grace.  She encouraged me and told me to complete what we could and not worry about the rest.  I still had a difficult time giving myself grace.  I'm a perfectionist.  I couldn't imagine sending incomplete work back to the school.  Even after the teacher had said that we could!  I prayed alot that day and that weekend.

Week Four -  I kept praying.  Praying for wisdom, patience, motivation, and most of all- JOY.  When I opened the newest curriculum packets that Monday, they seemed more achievable.  Slowly but surely, we got into the groove and things became easier.

Does this sound anything like what you other mommas experienced? 

I can gladly say, looking back, that we SURVIVED.  On the very last day of school, when my son took his very last Spelling Test, we sat and prayed together.  We thanked God for pulling us through.  I spoke words of encouragement and asked forgiveness for the times that I may have pushed him too hard and wounded our relationship.  This summer, I vow to take the time to mend those wounds.  I want him to know that God gives us Grace for those tough times.  He does not call us to be perfect.  He calls us to love Him and love Others as we navigate this crazy world.  We will not always succeed the first time we try new things.  But we must keep pushing forward, and with God's Strength, we can do all things.  (Maybe not perfectly....but we can give it our best shot!)

Thank you, Jesus, for the opportunity for growth.  Change is so hard, and it brings growing pains.  But those pains are so worth it in the end.  You are pruning us to be a better version of ourselves each time we experience a roller coaster like this.  Like one of my favorite songs says, "You're making diamonds out of dust." 

Shattering the Stigma

2020.  This is the year for BREAKTHROUGH; I can feel it.  I see so many friends struggling with anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders.  My heart aches for them, because I can relate. But God is doing something big; He is at work and He is opening doors and opportunities for our community to stand together against the enemy’s lies during this fight.  There was a time when I was in the trenches, fighting something so dark that I wondered how it was possible to ever get out. But God showed up. He worked a miracle in my life, and I’m writing to tell others about it in hopes that your chains can be broken too. We all have battles we fight underneath the surface. We put on a happy face and pretend everything is ok, but on the inside we are fighting things that nobody else knows about.  It may or may not be related to mental health.  Maybe your circumstances are not what you had planned for your life and you can’t seem to find joy and contentment.  Maybe you fight anger, resentment, jealousy, or pride. Whatever your struggle today, I encourage you to keep pressing forward. Keep looking up to Him. There is light at the end of your tunnel if you let go and trust Jesus with your burdens.

My New Years Resolution can be summed up in one word: COURAGE.  I am about to unveil something that is heavy and personal. It’s a big, ugly scar that very few people know about me.  But God has called me to share my testimony, so I’m walking boldly ahead. And as I hit the “publish” button on this blog and the “share” button after that.....I pray that chains will start to break.  In our community and in our hearts.

About one year ago, I felt God calling me to write a book about the hardest year of my life (2013) and the miracles that He provided to bring me to the other side.  My goal this year is to finish and publish this book.  The title is "Shattering the Stigma: My Battle Back to Mental Health."  I actually put the first part of my Introduction on this blog last February, titled "A Call for Authenticity."  (click here to read it) So today I thought I would share the last part of my Intro and a sneak peek at my Table of Contents.  My hope and prayer is that this will offer encouragement to you. 

A Call for Authenticity (Part Two)

I believe there should be NO SHAME in admitting that you struggle with a mental illness or emotional disorder.  I believe there should be more discussion about these topics to offer support and encouragement.

If we could open our hearts and subdue our judgement, perhaps we could shatter the stigma of mental and emotional struggle and accept it as part of the journey of life.

I'm here to openly share my story, in hopes that it will offer some type of encouragement to those that might be suffering in silence.  I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder six years ago.  I experienced quite a traumatic summer where I was hospitalized (twice!) after some major panic attacks.  It was an ugly, painful process to stay in a psychiatric ward until doctors found the correct diagnosis and medication.  Memories of that summer come back to haunt me every now and then.  I worry that it resulted in some psychological damage for my son, who was 2 years old at the time.  I battle thoughts that I am broken in some way, and I deal with the stigma that comes with needing a regular checkup with a psychiatrist.  On the other hand, God held my hand the entire time and He continues to give me strength every day.  My story is a testimony of His overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love.  I have not chosen to share these experiences publicly for my own glory or fame.  I have been called by my Lord and Savior to share it so that He might be glorified, and so others might come to know Him and trust in Him.  He is my Rock.  He is my Redeemer.  He is my Healer.  And He can be that for you if He isn't already.

"Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness.  Let the whole world know what he has done.  Sing to him; yes, sing his praises.  Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds.  Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord.  Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him.  Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles, and the rulings he has given, you children of his servant Abraham, you descendants of Jacob, his chosen ones."
Psalms 105:1-6 (NLT)

I pray that God will work miracles through my obedience to testify.  I pray that, as a community, we can work together to begin Shattering the Stigma.

Table of Contents

Introduction: A Call for Authenticity

Chapter 1:  Post-Partum Panic: My First Attacks 

Chapter 2:  My Summer in the Psych Wards

Chapter 3:  Miracles 

Chapter 4:  Road to Remission: A Daily Battle

Chapter 5:  Jesus and Jazzercise 

Chapter 6:  Coffeehouse Conversations

Chapter 7:  Shattering the Stigma

I'd like to leave you with some lyrics from the song "Scars" by I Am They

(click here to listen to the song)

Waking up to a new sunrise
Looking back from the other side
I can see now with open eyes
Darkest water and deepest pain
I wouldn't trade it for anything
'Cause my brokenness brought me to You
And these wounds are a story You'll use

So I'm thankful for the scars
'Cause without them I wouldn't know Your heart
And I know they'll always tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful for the scars

Now I'm standing in confidence
With the strength of Your faithfulness
And I'm not who I was before
No, I don't have to fear anymore