Shattering the Stigma

2020.  This is the year for BREAKTHROUGH; I can feel it.  I see so many friends struggling with anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders.  My heart aches for them, because I can relate. But God is doing something big; He is at work and He is opening doors and opportunities for our community to stand together against the enemy’s lies during this fight.  There was a time when I was in the trenches, fighting something so dark that I wondered how it was possible to ever get out. But God showed up. He worked a miracle in my life, and I’m writing to tell others about it in hopes that your chains can be broken too. We all have battles we fight underneath the surface. We put on a happy face and pretend everything is ok, but on the inside we are fighting things that nobody else knows about.  It may or may not be related to mental health.  Maybe your circumstances are not what you had planned for your life and you can’t seem to find joy and contentment.  Maybe you fight anger, resentment, jealousy, or pride. Whatever your struggle today, I encourage you to keep pressing forward. Keep looking up to Him. There is light at the end of your tunnel if you let go and trust Jesus with your burdens.

My New Years Resolution can be summed up in one word: COURAGE.  I am about to unveil something that is heavy and personal. It’s a big, ugly scar that very few people know about me.  But God has called me to share my testimony, so I’m walking boldly ahead. And as I hit the “publish” button on this blog and the “share” button after that.....I pray that chains will start to break.  In our community and in our hearts.

About one year ago, I felt God calling me to write a book about the hardest year of my life (2013) and the miracles that He provided to bring me to the other side.  My goal this year is to finish and publish this book.  The title is "Shattering the Stigma: My Battle Back to Mental Health."  I actually put the first part of my Introduction on this blog last February, titled "A Call for Authenticity."  (click here to read it) So today I thought I would share the last part of my Intro and a sneak peek at my Table of Contents.  My hope and prayer is that this will offer encouragement to you. 

A Call for Authenticity (Part Two)

I believe there should be NO SHAME in admitting that you struggle with a mental illness or emotional disorder.  I believe there should be more discussion about these topics to offer support and encouragement.

If we could open our hearts and subdue our judgement, perhaps we could shatter the stigma of mental and emotional struggle and accept it as part of the journey of life.

I'm here to openly share my story, in hopes that it will offer some type of encouragement to those that might be suffering in silence.  I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder six years ago.  I experienced quite a traumatic summer where I was hospitalized (twice!) after some major panic attacks.  It was an ugly, painful process to stay in a psychiatric ward until doctors found the correct diagnosis and medication.  Memories of that summer come back to haunt me every now and then.  I worry that it resulted in some psychological damage for my son, who was 2 years old at the time.  I battle thoughts that I am broken in some way, and I deal with the stigma that comes with needing a regular checkup with a psychiatrist.  On the other hand, God held my hand the entire time and He continues to give me strength every day.  My story is a testimony of His overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love.  I have not chosen to share these experiences publicly for my own glory or fame.  I have been called by my Lord and Savior to share it so that He might be glorified, and so others might come to know Him and trust in Him.  He is my Rock.  He is my Redeemer.  He is my Healer.  And He can be that for you if He isn't already.

"Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness.  Let the whole world know what he has done.  Sing to him; yes, sing his praises.  Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds.  Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord.  Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him.  Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles, and the rulings he has given, you children of his servant Abraham, you descendants of Jacob, his chosen ones."
Psalms 105:1-6 (NLT)

I pray that God will work miracles through my obedience to testify.  I pray that, as a community, we can work together to begin Shattering the Stigma.

Table of Contents

Introduction: A Call for Authenticity

Chapter 1:  Post-Partum Panic: My First Attacks 

Chapter 2:  My Summer in the Psych Wards

Chapter 3:  Miracles 

Chapter 4:  Road to Remission: A Daily Battle

Chapter 5:  Jesus and Jazzercise 

Chapter 6:  Coffeehouse Conversations

Chapter 7:  Shattering the Stigma

I'd like to leave you with some lyrics from the song "Scars" by I Am They

(click here to listen to the song)

Waking up to a new sunrise
Looking back from the other side
I can see now with open eyes
Darkest water and deepest pain
I wouldn't trade it for anything
'Cause my brokenness brought me to You
And these wounds are a story You'll use

So I'm thankful for the scars
'Cause without them I wouldn't know Your heart
And I know they'll always tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful for the scars

Now I'm standing in confidence
With the strength of Your faithfulness
And I'm not who I was before
No, I don't have to fear anymore